Category: Mommy v zombie
Barbie
19Nov2009

Barbie Confessions

In the Sortor home, a Barbie can expect a life as filled with beatings and drama as your average Lifetime movie.

zombie3
17Nov2009

The Seven Habits of Highly Defective People

After all, what does success matter when you can skate through life on pure, unadulterated cerebellum?

ladyskater
12Nov2009

Disney Princesses on Ice

When you can’t win your children’s affection any other way, you can always pay Disney to win it for you.

vintage2
29Oct2009

Happy Birthday to Me.

The dream of being the keyboardist in a punk-rock band becomes less likely each year.

12Oct2009

Done.

I will begin with the end.

sunflower
25Sep2009

Gather Ye Rosebuds While ye May

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying. -Robert Herrick

KE-whirlwind
25Aug2009

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore, Todo.

Brooklyn started Kindergarten today and I feel (and probably look) like I’ve been the victim of some kind of natural disaster.

Ode to Public Education: Part One

You probably don’t understand; you probably enjoyed public education. Good for you. Why don’t you go put on your Letterman sweater and shut the heck up?

darth-vader[1]
16Jun2009

Darth Schlictenstein

The enthusiastic pediatrician is dead. Darth Schlictenstein is our new doctor.

twilight
21May2009

Twilight: Condensed

Of three things I was sure. First, that Edward was a vampire. Second, some part of him thirsted for my blood. Third, I was idiotically and irrevocably in love with him…